Have you ever struggled with the idea of forgiving someone who hurt you? Some situations are so painful that we find it hard to forgive.
It could be our parents, siblings, colleagues, or even bosses. It is wise to reflect back and see whether we have ever hurt others. At times, we do things that do hurt those around us. We desire that they do not hold it against us and we pray that they would rather forgive us.
The Bible teaches us, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sum up the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew7:12 NIV).
The Lords prayer
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:14-15 NIV).
When Jesus was teaching about prayer, he used these words to show the price of Unforgiveness. In the Lord’s Prayer, we pray and say, “... forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”.
Forgiving others is not a favour to the offender, but the victim. The carnal mind finds it hard to comprehend forgiveness. For Christians, it is the forgiveness of sin that gives us hope.
Unforgiveness separates us from God. If God had not forgiven us, we would remain enemies with Him. But by the forgiveness of our sins, we are reconciled to God (Colossians 1:12).
Without forgiveness of our sins, we have no hope as Christians to enter the kingdom of God. Because of the sin committed by our first parents, the Bible says that all people have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23).
So, every one of us needs forgiveness from God and at times from fellow humans.
Set yourself free
When we forgive our offenders, we set ourselves free from pain and resentment. With forgiveness, we overcome bitterness and ill thoughts. Remember Jesus taught that blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God (Matt 5:8).
When we forgive, we accept the wrong done against us was true, but we have the strength to rise above that situation.
The best way to gather the pieces from any broken relationship is to forgive the other person. That way, our inner eyes will focus on more meaningful things in life than concentrating on an individual.
With bitterness within us, our hearts cannot be pure. Every time we see or hear of our offenders, our wounds will always open.
Forgiveness gives us power. This means we are not slaves to anyone or anything apart from Christ Jesus who is the King Eternal. The moment we feel that we are the victims and need to get even, we remain slaves to our offenders.
Holding on to the pain may get people to sympathise with us for the past misfortunes, but we fail for forgetting that we have a present life and a future.
Why should we let other people dictate our moods or actions? We are free people.
“Jesus answered them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin... Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.” (John 8:34, 36 NKJV).
If Christ died to make us free from sin, why should we hold onto the sin of unforgiveness? If Christ sets us free, we should remain free.
“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness, no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many” (Hebrew12:14-15 NIV).
In the book of Hebrews, the apostle who wrote the book makes a call to all Christians to make peace with everyone.
It’s by the grace of God that we Christians can overcome bitterness. Bitterness poisons your soul, and it leads one to a slow but painful death. As Peter told Simon of Samaria, sin holds one captive and poisons the heart (Acts 8:22-23).
King David knew the secret
When Shimei went out cursing and throwing rocks and dust at David, David forgave him. It was not easy to forgive one who disrespected the king.
The servants of David requested that they are allowed to cut off Shimei’s head, but David forbid them (2Samuel 16:5-13).
David knew the power of forgiving others. He also had pleaded with God for forgiveness in Psalms 51. He also was ready to forgive even those who disrespected him.
Jesus taught that if one slaps you on the right, offer them the other. He meant if someone hurts you, give him or her another chance. He also taught that we should forgive our brethren 70 times 7 (Luke 17:4). That is to say, forgive everything, anytime, any day of the week.
An eye for an eye leaves behind a blind society.
When we kneel down to pray and ask God for the forgiveness of our sins, our conscience testifies about us. If someone does you wrong and you feel heavy at heart, you have not forgiven him or her.
God can only forgive us if we do forgive others. Jesus taught that before giving our sacrifices, we should reconcile with our brothers and sisters (Matt 5:24). This means, first sort out things between your brethren, then seek God as a free person.
Forgive but never forget
We cannot ask God to forgive us yet; we find it hard to forgive our fellow humans.
Forgiving others does not mean that we are weak; it means we are strong. We need not to forget what happened, but we need to go past it.
Like when people hurt or kill those that we love, it is not easy to forget, but you can forgive.
Forgiving is not spontaneous; it needs time and effort to accept the situation. When we forgive anyone, it does not mean that we trust them. We do not need to overlook their wrongs; what we need is to accept that they wronged us and we learned a lesson.
We may never meet the people who offended us again, but our lives need to go on. If we forgive and forget, we may make ourselves exposed to similar hurting situations.
We should pray to God to give us a forgiving heart. David prayed to God for a new heart (Psalms 51:10). When we forgive, we build our character and moral stamina.
We learn to appreciate that other people make mistakes like we do at times. In the book of Psalms, David was praying for forgiveness. He was a prosperous king, but he begged God for forgiveness.
This shows anyone can be in the wrong.
David pleased God to the point that he promised him an everlasting kingdom. It is through forgiveness that we have become part of that kingdom, so we should also be ready to forgive others.
Therefore
We should be like our Lord Jesus in forgiving. On his last moments, he asked God to forgive those who killed him. He held nothing against them. He showed that there is no limit to the forgiveness we should show to others.
The heart of Christianity is forgiveness and the peace that comes with it. Once we understand how much God had to pardon us, we should be more willing to forgive those who wrong us.
