The Best Advice from a Caring Parent

In this fast-moving world, the only person who doesn’t compete with you is your parent. In fact, it is only your parents who want you to be better than them. Everyone else is in a race against you in all ways.

Going by experience, parents stand at a vantage point to give the best advice. Unfortunately, great counsel is least heeded when most needed.

No parent would wish their children to learn the harshness of life through experience. If anything, parents wish they could save their kids from the mistakes they made when they were young.

Therefore, one loving father sat and thought of how he could help his son. This is what he said in very few words.

Father’s Advice

After breathing hard from deep thought, the father said to his son:

"My son, listen to my counsel so that you may be wise. A wise son applies his heart to instruction, and his ears are ever searching for knowledge.

Please, please, my son, never forget my counsel. Never grow weary of following what I advise you. Instead, Seal them inside your heart. And by doing so, you will find peace all the days of your life.

For the sake of life, my dear son, let your eyes keep the right way.

A person who never walks in the counsel of evil men is forever blessed. Even when, he needs to pass time, he never sits with mockers least they mock God in his presence. My son, a wise person seeks wisdom. He is pleased when justice prevails.

That is the secret to prosperity.

I have lived a life full of mistakes, some that I regret to this day. But for you, my son, guard your heart above everything else that you hold dear. Your heart is the wellspring of life.

Most importantly, let your way be far from immoral and wayward women. Don’t give your strength and honour to those who have no mercy.

In fact, in the Biblical history, great leaders failed due to two things; Promiscuity and wine. Keep away from them unless you also want to be a failure.

God has given you a lovely wife. Treat her well and mould her into the queen you desire. If you do so, she will make you a respectable person in this town.

If anything, she is the only other person other than your parents, who has the power to make or break your life.

Even when my time comes to rest in the grave, I would be proud of you if you would keep your feet from trouble. Please, don’t go courting trouble.

Also, guard your tongue. Watch and measure your words all the time. Tell me, can you recall an arrow once you shoot it from a bow? No! Whether your target was correct or not, the arrow must hit.

That is the same case with words. Once you say them, you can never recall them. Be wise, my son, and I will be proud of you, even in death.

Finally, I will repeat this, “The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.” And this wisdom leads to long life, honour, and prosperity.”

At this point, the father stopped talking and seemed to go deep into thought.

Since I wasn’t part of the meeting, I just over heard this conversation. Unfortunately, I never waited to hear what the father had to say next.

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Hurting From a Failed Relationship? Allow Yourself to Heal

Have you ever broken at least one of your limbs? Sorry about that. A broken leg or hand is most times immobile. You are in such great pain, and you can’t control the organ. The same thing happens in a failed relationship.

It is unfair that the people you love most hold the highest potential to hurt you gravely. 

Actually, you are most vulnerable at their hands because of the trust you have bestowed on them. They may be your spouse, parents, or even friends.

 Honestly, a broken heart hurts more than a broken bone. All the same, you can find your way out of the pain.

Getting over heartbreak is harder than fixing a broken bone. In fact, the heart may take years to heal. Therefore, if you are hurting from a broken relationship, you are the only one who can hasten your healing.

Here are some tips to quicken your recovery from a failed relationship.

Go Through the Pain - Not Around It

Being left, rejected or hurt is never the end of the world. Therefore, you need to accept the reality. This may be the hardest part of recovery. The truth is; you need to accept your loss and grief. Actually, cry if you have to and express your pain.

There is nothing as tormenting as living in denial. Therefore, you need to face the hard truth and forge your way forward in life. Look into the just-ended relationship and list down the things that hurt you most. 

Also, list events that you wish never happened.

Again, grieving should be healthy without running into bitterness, the shame of self-loathing. Having Hope that life will get better keeps you the right path to healing. But how do you stay positive? Let’s see how.

Use Your Time Wisely

With so much time now that you are not together, your significant other can be psychologically tormenting. The time you used to be with your partner is currently not accounted for. 

In fact, it seems like some good time to wallow in negative feelings.

Notably, you need to distract your mind constructively.

Travel to new places, meet new people, learn new things, and help other people. This way, you feel better about yourself. Also, it helps to learn how to live without your ex.

Your Partner’s Negative Words Don’t Define Your Worth

The worst you can do at this point in time is losing your self-esteem. In fact, you were worth as much before and during the relationship as you are after it’s broken.

No matter how painful the breakup was, you haven’t lost a dime in your worth (Psa 139:14).

Your partner may have uttered strong deforming words, but remember, those are mere words. Indeed, some people reel back to name-calling as a defense mechanism.

So, as your partner was trying to come into terms with the breakup, they could have gotten out of themselves. Most likely, they regret saying mean words to you.

Don’t bottle up your painful feelings

Though it’s natural to try and conceal our pain, the habit is counter-productive. It will save your face to the public, but the heart keeps bleeding. So, to avoid running into depression, share your experiences. 
"A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for a time of adversity." (Prov 17:17)

Speaking helps in making you accept the reality.

Face the pain and let your friends know that your relationship failed. I will help you to accept your situation and work your way forward.

So, face the pain and grieve for your losses. Otherwise, if you hide from reality, you may end up in depression.

Talk to Someone Who Cares

It is an open secret that the best counseling comes from talking your heart out.

 A listening ear is compared to teammates who help carry an injured team member off the pitch. People who care are most likely ready to carry you when you hurt most.

In that case, know your friends.

Indeed, you may have to choose one friend whom you can trust with your most wild secrets. Pour yourself out; you will be glad you did.

Although we are saying you get someone to speak to, it’s good to consider their experience as well. Choose a friend who is older than you and one who has some experience with heartbreaks. At least, such a friend will understand your pain better.

   

Give Yourself Time to Heal

A failed relationship can only compare to a fracture. It is more than a fracture. Unlike other breaks in the body, heartbreak takes long to heal. This is because it affects the spirit and the mind too.

When breakups happen, life looks so unpromising, and we feel like the world has come to an end. But that’s not the truth. At times, things may fall apart for better things to fall in place.

Avoid jumping right into another relationship after a breakup. You may feel like if you did you would send a message to your ex, but that move is suicidal. 

Actually, Paulette Kouffman Sherman advice is that if you had been in a relationship for a year or more, you need to take about 3-4 months before you start dating.

Therefore, to out-grow the pain, you need to give yourself time to heal. The healing process might be bumpy, but you will eventually get there. Time is the best ingredient when it comes to repairing a broken heart.

Actually, rebound dating is not healthy at all. Take time off and rebuild your heart.

Take Your Heart to God

There is a limit into how much a human being can achieve by himself/herself.

You can cry yourself to sleep every night, distract your mind with fun activities, delete all your ex’s messages and ignore their calls. 

But after you have done all that you can, you might still be hurting.

Your heart will still be throbbing and aching at the slightest memory of your failed relationship.

That is when you will realize that you need God to heal you. "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." (Psa 147:3)

King David knew this secret, and that’s why he asked God for healing. Also, he asked God to create in him a new heart (Psa 51:10). A new heart knows how to forgive others and itself.

Did you know that God loves you still? Yes, he loves us all.

God does not love us because of how righteous we are.  But he loves us with his unconditional love. He loves you with all the crazy decisions you made and all the mess you have put yourself through.  

Actually, is a father who expects you only to trust him with your hurting heart and he will mend it for you. Turn away from sin, and he will heal you. 

Our loving Father will create in you a new heart.

Just remember how much you have struggled on your own without inviting God. You have done it all, but you haven’t found a solution to heal your broken heart. God is waiting for you to acknowledge that you need him.

He has watched you all the while you were running in circles searching for an escape. It is time you stopped and surrendered all your pain unto him.

Conclusion

Finally, now you know how to start your journey to healing. You have to accept the breakup, accept that you are in pain and work your way out of it. You don’t have to hold bitterness against anybody, not even yourself. You need to forgive and move with life.

You hold the key to your happiness. Please, don’t lock yourself outside just because your relationship is fallen. You have the whole world to face ahead of you. So, don’t let grief to imprison your mind and heart.

Seek God’s help, and you will find a fountain of life in him. He is just waiting for you to call for his help. Therefore, surrender your broken heart to him, and it will never be the same again.

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Forgive That You May Be Forgiven

Have you ever struggled with the idea of forgiving someone who hurt you? Some situations are so painful that we find it hard to forgive.

 It could be our parents, siblings, colleagues, or even bosses. It is wise to reflect back and see whether we have ever hurt others. At times, we do things that do hurt those around us. We desire that they do not hold it against us and we pray that they would rather forgive us.

The Bible teaches us, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sum up the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew7:12 NIV).

The Lords prayer

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:14-15 NIV).

When Jesus was teaching about prayer, he used these words to show the price of Unforgiveness. In the Lord’s Prayer, we pray and say, “... forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”.

Forgiving others is not a favour to the offender, but the victim. The carnal mind finds it hard to comprehend forgiveness. For Christians, it is the forgiveness of sin that gives us hope.

Unforgiveness separates us from God. If God had not forgiven us, we would remain enemies with Him. But by the forgiveness of our sins, we are reconciled to God (Colossians 1:12).

Without forgiveness of our sins, we have no hope as Christians to enter the kingdom of God. Because of the sin committed by our first parents, the Bible says that all people have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23).

So, every one of us needs forgiveness from God and at times from fellow humans.

Set yourself free

When we forgive our offenders, we set ourselves free from pain and resentment. With forgiveness, we overcome bitterness and ill thoughts. Remember Jesus taught that blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God (Matt 5:8).

When we forgive, we accept the wrong done against us was true, but we have the strength to rise above that situation.

The best way to gather the pieces from any broken relationship is to forgive the other person. That way, our inner eyes will focus on more meaningful things in life than concentrating on an individual.

With bitterness within us, our hearts cannot be pure. Every time we see or hear of our offenders, our wounds will always open.

Forgiveness gives us power. This means we are not slaves to anyone or anything apart from Christ Jesus who is the King Eternal. The moment we feel that we are the victims and need to get even, we remain slaves to our offenders.

Holding on to the pain may get people to sympathise with us for the past misfortunes, but we fail for forgetting that we have a present life and a future.

Why should we let other people dictate our moods or actions? We are free people.

 “Jesus answered them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin... Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.” (John 8:34, 36 NKJV).

 If Christ died to make us free from sin, why should we hold onto the sin of unforgiveness? If Christ sets us free, we should remain free.

“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness, no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many” (Hebrew12:14-15 NIV).

 In the book of Hebrews,  the apostle who wrote the book makes a call to all Christians to make peace with everyone.

It’s by the grace of God that we Christians can overcome bitterness. Bitterness poisons your soul, and it leads one to a slow but painful death. As Peter told Simon of Samaria, sin holds one captive and poisons the heart (Acts 8:22-23).

King David knew the secret

When Shimei went out cursing and throwing rocks and dust at David, David forgave him. It was not easy to forgive one who disrespected the king.

The servants of David requested that they are allowed to cut off Shimei’s head, but David forbid them (2Samuel 16:5-13).

David knew the power of forgiving others. He also had pleaded with God for forgiveness in Psalms 51. He also was ready to forgive even those who disrespected him.

 Jesus taught that if one slaps you on the right, offer them the other. He meant if someone hurts you, give him or her another chance. He also taught that we should forgive our brethren 70 times 7 (Luke 17:4). That is to say, forgive everything, anytime, any day of the week.

An eye for an eye leaves behind a blind society.

When we kneel down to pray and ask God for the forgiveness of our sins, our conscience testifies about us. If someone does you wrong and you feel heavy at heart, you have not forgiven him or her.

 God can only forgive us if we do forgive others. Jesus taught that before giving our sacrifices, we should reconcile with our brothers and sisters (Matt 5:24). This means, first sort out things between your brethren, then seek God as a free person.

Forgive but never forget

We cannot ask God to forgive us yet; we find it hard to forgive our fellow humans.

Forgiving others does not mean that we are weak; it means we are strong. We need not to forget what happened, but we need to go past it.

Like when people hurt or kill those that we love, it is not easy to forget, but you can forgive.

Forgiving is not spontaneous; it needs time and effort to accept the situation. When we forgive anyone, it does not mean that we trust them. We do not need to overlook their wrongs; what we need is to accept that they wronged us and we learned a lesson.

We may never meet the people who offended us again, but our lives need to go on. If we forgive and forget, we may make ourselves exposed to similar hurting situations.

We should pray to God to give us a forgiving heart. David prayed to God for a new heart (Psalms 51:10). When we forgive, we build our character and moral stamina.

We learn to appreciate that other people make mistakes like we do at times. In the book of Psalms, David was praying for forgiveness. He was a prosperous king, but he begged God for forgiveness.

This shows anyone can be in the wrong.

 David pleased God to the point that he promised him an everlasting kingdom. It is through forgiveness that we have become part of that kingdom, so we should also be ready to forgive others.

Therefore

We should be like our Lord Jesus in forgiving. On his last moments, he asked God to forgive those who killed him. He held nothing against them. He showed that there is no limit to the forgiveness we should show to others.

The heart of Christianity is forgiveness and the peace that comes with it. Once we understand how much God had to pardon us, we should be more willing to forgive those who wrong us.

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The Rise of Biblical Illiteracy

Despite the notable development in technology, the knowledge of the written word of God has alarmingly declined. According to a LifeWay Research study, 22 percent of those who attend the church regularly only read their Bibles once or twice in a month.

 Almost 20 percent of churchgoers rarely or never read the Bible at all. Those who confirmed reading their Bibles every day were just 20 percent.

Though 90 percent of those questioned said, they desire to please God and honor Him, their efforts to know His will from the scriptures are almost absent. Ignorance has led to many Christians doubting everything they have believed all along.

When God commissioned Joshua to lead the children of Israel, he said to him, “This book of law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate upon it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it...” (Joshua 1:8 NKJV).

Effects of poor Bible study habits

Poor Bible study habits have led to a society that only believes in a God they do not understand His ways.

Just like schoolbooks, the Bible requires some organized approach to internalize its content. According to christianitytoday.com, very few believers and churchgoers embrace the fundamental  Biblical teachings.

Due to their poor knowledge of the word of God, individuals start questioning the existence of God, heaven, hell, and most of all, salvation through Jesus Christ.

The United Kingdom Bible Society found that children could not identify familiar Bible stories with 33 percent claiming that Nativity is part of the Bible.

Their parent fared no better. Over 30 percent of them are unfamiliar with the story of Adam and Eve.

Christianity vs. Secularism

A lack of biblical knowledge has seen Christian values losing to secular values. That is why we have activists fighting for acceptance of rising cultural trends.

Some are an abomination before the eyes of God. Some Christians question the authority of God and the authenticity of the biblical truths.

Pluralism (believing that there are many ways to heaven other than Jesus Christ) is a result of contention on the supremacy of Jesus Christ. The carnal mind argues that we have to change with the times, but God never changes with the times. As he was in the beginning, so is He even today.

Parents, you are failing

When God gave his laws to the Israelite's at Mt. Sinai, Moses commanded parents to teach their children, and grandchildren the law so that they could teach other generations (Deuteronomy 4:8-9).

I would say parents have been failing to the point that we have ill-informed kids becoming parents over the generations. Their grandchildren get worse, drifting away from the written truth.

What would you expect of parents who think that Sodom and Gomorrah were husband and wife?

Some parents contacted by LifeWay said that Billy Graham gave the Sermon on the Mount.

The emergence of consumable gospel

Some blame rests on pastors and ministers of the word. They have opted to give a consumable gospel rather than the genuine gospel of Christ.

The faithful Christians don’t need some motivational speech to grow. They need the unpolluted word of God.

 Church leaders have realized that their audiences have a preference for ‘feel good’ sermons instead of those that point at their incompleteness.

Therefore, pastors take little or no time to teach the truth of the Bible. Eventually, the flock of Christ suffers from Spiritual malnutrition. Pastors seek to benefit from the big gatherings of clueless ‘sheep.'
Woe unto the shepherds.

Before Jesus ascended, he asked Peter to take care of and feed His (Christ’s) sheep. That way, Peter became the rock on which the church was built. On the day of Pentecost, Peter stood in Jerusalem and spoke the TRUTH, and 3,000 people accepted Christ (Acts 2:41). Out of speaking the actual word of God, hearts get convicted to change and follow Christ. Therefore, teachers and the pastors need to wake up and do the work they were called for. In the book of Ezekiel, God says, “… I am against the shepherds and will hold them accountable for my flock. I will remove them from tending the flock so that the shepherds can no longer feed themselves. I will rescue my flock from their mouths, and it will no longer be food for them.” (Ezekiel 34:10 NIV)

The solution to this illiteracy is starting guided Bible classes in our homes and local churches.

Small groups have always worked wonders when it comes to studying the Bible. As individuals, we should also explore the word of God before going for group studies.

This effort leaves us informed and puts us in a position to share with our group members what we understand from the word.

The best way to remember what you have learned is to teach others.

We need to come to the reality of Spiritual growth. During his temptation, Jesus answered to the devil and said a person cannot live on bread alone, but by every word of God (Matthew 4:4).

 We are in a battle

To overcome crafty phantom quotes that most Christians mistake to be biblical, the word of God has to be in us.

The Bible calls the Word of God the sword of the Spirit (Ephesians 6: 17).

We are in a battle, and we need the sword of the Spirit since we don’t fight a physical fight, it is a spiritual battle. We do need to keep the Bible as a library book to succeed, but beyond that, the content of the Bible should be in us.

Paul told Timothy to devote himself to reading the word of God so that he may answer anyone who questions him (1 Timothy 4:13).

Finally

If you teach your faith’s basics to your children, they will identify and be proud of it. Parents should take the challenge and bring up a generation that upholds Biblical teachings.

Their parents can only set the best examples for the kids to follow. Once the “home churches” are healthy, the whole congregation of the church of Christ will be healthy and strong.

All answers about Christianity are in the Bible. Not in research, scientific experiments, or some human rights activism.

 In the end, the Church will be knowledgeable in the things of God, able to teach them to another generation.

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